This song sums it up completely

Any thoughts or comments???

And the Bond Grows Stronger

I'm suppossed to be sleeping right now, but decided to write a new blog.  It's been over a week since I've done so. 
As my relationship with him continues to grow even stronger, I'm learning more and more about myself as a sub and my surrender to him.  No matter what I do to occupy my time in his absence, I just don't feel whole when he's not with me.  He knows me inside and out even more than I do myself.  This weekend it hit me very hard.  The need and surrender was so overwhelming that it brought me to tears. 
I'm very hesitant in using the "M" word and do so very sparingly, as once it's said or used you can never take it back.  I can honestly say I feel that I'm right on the edge of taking the leap and beginning to move from calling him Sir to Master. This is natural progression right?  What I thought could never be found I think I have found....He completes me....

Looking for a Sub sister to talk

I'm looking to find a friend who is like minded as me in living the life of a submissive in the DD/HOH lifestyle.  I'm looking to find someone to share and talk about my experiences and be a sounding board to discuss punishments and situations that we all seem to get into from time to time.  If you would be interested in sharing your own views and discussing the lifestyle please let me know.  My Dom is completely supportive in me finding a person who has the same beliefs that I share and will live.  Drop me a line if you would be interested......Sweetcheeks

A very Hot and Steamy Night

One of my house rules that I must follow is when he goes to bed I am to follow and sleep for the night.  This week has been especially stressful for me at work not to mention hot and humid.  After a few hours I was still tossing and turning and couldn't sleep.  Once I could feel he was asleep, I layed quietly and listening intently to make sure he was sound asleep.  I slowly and carefully I slipped out of the bed and put my swimsuit on and tiptoed through the kitchen to the backdoor.  Grabbing a towel I carefully opened the back door and slowly closed it behind me.  Walking down the deck I throw my towel on the table and slipped my suit off and jumped into the pool.  It was a warm and humid night (almost 2am at this point).  I enjoyed the warm water and did a few laps and slowly began to unwind and relax.

Swimming over to the far end of the pool I look up and see the light flash through the window pane of the back door.  The flash startles me and I freeze in place.  I slowly see a silhouette standing on the upper deck with the light illuminating around him.  I stop moving and look up intently.  As my body is frozen in time I hear in a clear firm voice.."come here".  Visibly shaken I swim over to the opposite side and climb out grabbing my towel and suit.  I dry my body off the best I can and slowly walk up the steps to where he stands.  The shock sets in as I see him holding a belt in his hand.  He grabs me by the arm and begins to spank me as he leads me into the house.  The sharp intense smacks hitting my wet bottom cuts like a knife as I cry out and run into the bedroom.  Throwing myself on the bed rubbing the burn I sob in my pillow as I hear him lock the door and turn the lights off.  Slowly he makes his way back to the bedroom.  Laying face down as I slowly turn my head to the side and look at him as he walks in.  In his firm voice I hear him say confidently, "You know the rules, when we go to bed at night you are to stay by my side and not wander off in the middle of the night."  I try to plead my case through the tears explaining I couldn't sleep and was restless.  In a calm voice he confirms "I understand and I'm going to take care of that right now."  He walks over to my side of the bed and begins to spank my bottom with the belt.  The sobbing and cries and screams begin as I try to escape the attack on my sore and wet bottom.  Hearing his words saying "this will make sure you do sleep and won't wander around after bedtime.  I do NOT want to wake up again and find you missing do you understand me?"  Broken and sobbing as I answer through the broken words, "Yes Sir".  Crying uncontrollably the spanking stops as I see the light turned off and he walks over to the opposite side of the bed.  Choking on tears I try and rub the burning heat from my sore and not so wet butt.  As he gets into bed he pulls me close to him as I lay on my side with my back to him curled up.  Feeling him press against my spine and hot butt I whimper and sob exhausted from the ordeal I try to settle down.  Devistated that I was spanked by him I fight back the tears.  Slowly as i feel his strong hand reach down and touch my burning butt I hear his stern but calming voice.  "You will learn to follow my rules.  If you can't sleep you need to wake me and not sneak off like that.  Do NOT do this again or your punishment will be more severe than what you got tonight."  Overcome by the ordeal of being thoroughly spanked, I yawn through the tears and slowly drift off to sleep in his safe and protecting arms.....

Mind over Matter

I would love to hear people's opinions on how a Dom is able to get into a sub's mind.  How is it possible that you are able to read their thoughts and know what they are thinking before we even do?  It almost feels like you can read the mind and know things that we don't even know ourselves.  Is this because of the strong bond that's created or something else?  It's inticing and at the same time scarey too.

To Tell or Not to Tell

As I begin this new journey and we have spent alot of time communicating our views and his ideas and structure of DD/HOH.  I shared with him the other day that I got pulled over for speeding on my drive home from work.  I completely understand where he stands on this and that I would be punished for putting myself at risk.  Yesterday, as I was driving home yet again it happened in the same area.  I was so deep in thought while I was driving I wasn't paying attention.  Thank God it wasn't the same officer.  I know the right thing to do is to tell him.  I fear what his reactions will be.  I know if I don't tell him it will eat me up inside.  If I do tell him, I know I will be punished and severely.  After all, this is the life I chose to lead.  Anyone have any thoughts or can offer feedback?

Happy 4th of July weekend to everyone

I've spent the last few days talking with someone in great detail about this lifestyle. I feel this is a good connection for me.  He's successfully been able to get into my head and pull things out of me that no other has been able to do successfully.  It's a mix of emotions and needs.  I know it's premature but I'm praying this search of mine has finally found the "one" I've been hoping to find.  The journey has been wonderful so far.  I know as a submissive we all need the stability and structure to make us whole.  Could this be it?  You know who you are and I want to thank you for the time we've spent together and I look forward to sharing more with you.

Friday, July 1st

A continuation of posting my thoughts.....

I've had the welcomed opportunity of talking with a man who is the real deal.  A true Dom that believes in DD/HOH.  I've thoroughly enjoyed all of our conversations.  For the first time since I can remember, I feel that our views and ideas are on the same page.  The emotions are overpowering...How he is able to get into my head has completely caught me off guard.  I've challenged him with "trick" questions to see how he would answer them and he's passed everyone of them with flying colors. 

What attracts us to his power?  The need to feel the power and control or the need to know that you will give yourself to his control. Giving up control of oneself is such a special gift that needs to be treasured and respected.  For those of you who are like me, I know you understand this.  It's so hard to open yourself up and allow someone into your world and mind.  If we don't do this..how do we ever find true happiness?  A risk we all take and pray for the outcome to be true.  The bond and power of the connection is intoxicating and addicting that you just can't walk away from it.

I spend time thinking and wondering how the structure would be set up and how it will play out.  The squirming of anticipation and anxiety are a mixed emotion that us "bottoms" are so familiar with.  As we challenge to see where the boundaries will unfold we slowly develop into the person we've always wanted to be.  Guided and looked after by a true Dom who displays confidence, structure and consistency.