Welcome to Domestic Discipline by Sweetcheeks. I wanted to share with other like minded adults who believe in living a life of Domestic Discipline in relationships.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Mind over Matter
I would love to hear people's opinions on how a Dom is able to get into a sub's mind. How is it possible that you are able to read their thoughts and know what they are thinking before we even do? It almost feels like you can read the mind and know things that we don't even know ourselves. Is this because of the strong bond that's created or something else? It's inticing and at the same time scarey too.
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We've been together so long that I think Lash does read my mind and can definitely read my body language. He really does know what I need before I do. The bond we have through DD makes him more observant and willing to act on it.
ReplyDeleteCan you help me understand something...We are in the early stages of a DD relationship and he's out of the states right now so the only way we have to connect is through talking. Waiting for a punishment is a killer! I find myself fighting his control over my mind and soul..It's sort of a last resort to giving him complete control. Did you experience that too or something close to it?
ReplyDeleteSweetcheeks, We spent a lot of time living in different places over the last 10 years and it was very difficult to change from independent thinking to submissive thinking and back again over and over. I'm not sure I ever got really good at it, especially over the phone. When I could be with him and feel his presence, it helped. You're not alone in this.
ReplyDeletePS: After re-reading your posts about meeting this Dom, I think you are wise to be thoughtful about giving in completely, at least until you have spent more time together. I'm not saying to resist, but just to take it gently and slowly. If he is truly right for you, he will agree.
ReplyDeleteThanks Meow...and yes i know he's the right one for me. I've never met anyone who fits so perfectly to me and my needs. I start a sentence and he finishes them. Did you get into alot of trouble in the beginning? Did it take you time to adjust to a structured lifestyle?
ReplyDeleteWe were married many years before we started using DD, so I had fallen into some bad patterns of behavior and it took a while before I learned new ones. We experimented with different types of structure and have very few rules now, just the expectation that I will be respectful and honest with him and myself. And that I will be submissive and obedient to him when he desires it. There is always a lot of adjustment at the beginning, but you seem to want this very much and will be able to adjust to each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I want to reveal any dom secrets, but I think that you'll eventually guess anyway. One way into my submissive's mind is simply that submissive part of myself that cries out when I have a thought: "NO! No, please, not that!"
ReplyDeleteI know what you're thinking. He seems all domly and all that. How can he be submissive? Well, just take my word for it that we can feel the same feelings. Probably because we are both human.
So, whether that's a "bond" or something else, I don't know. I think that familiarity also helps, as you begin to know how your partner will react. But fundamentally, I think this works best when the dom has the imagination to think how they would themselves react to various possible events.
And I also think that partners that have the same types of feelings about things work well together. For example, if both parties imagine the same feelings coming from being sent to the corner before a spanking, then it is likely this will determine whether and how that happens.
This may also answer your question about adjustment. I think that when the dom and sub have similar fantasies and imagine similar reactions to specific approaches, then they are likely more compatible and the adjustment period will be less. I think there will always be discovery and adjustment, but how grueling that is depends on how different the fantasy life of the partners is.